Bad Timing
by Avenging Neko
Summary: Crackfic: Bad Timing: Why Not To Summon The Goblin King During His Shower.


_**Bad Timing**_

**Ketti:** Hallo! Yes, short, odd story about bad timing, and wet Goblin Kings. Uhm ... yeah. Who knew goblins had such perfect timing? (Not really planning to continue it, specifically, but at least I left room in the end!)

* * *

Sarah Williams, age eighteen, was your average every day girl; good grades, a little brother that hero worshiped the ground she walked on, a dog… Oh, and a flock of goblins that her father and stepmother couldn't see. You see, when Sarah was sixteen she'd wished her baby brother away to the goblins in a fit of temper. Oh, she didn't mean it! Not really. But you know how it goes… What's said is said. So she went on an epic journey through the Labyrinth, making many friends on the way – that she chatted with every day or two through her bedroom mirror – and defeated the wicked Goblin King. Baby's home, parents are none the wiser, many lessons learned. The end, right?

Wrong.

Sarah winced as she heard something being tipped over in her bedroom and cursed as she hurried to rinse the conditioner out of her waist length raven locks. The goblins, whose city she had helped destroy during her quest to retrieve Toby, had taken a liking to her and she had quickly acquired a personal entourage of the meddlesome creatures.

"If you guys broke something, you'll be in trouble!" Sarah shouted over the roar of the pounding water and ran brisk hands over her limbs to wash away the shower gel she'd lathered up while the conditioner set. Their reply was a shriek of raucous laughter and a suspicious thud. Groaning to herself, she could only imagine what they were getting into _now_.

The Labyrinth's Champion had quickly discovered one of the foundations of the Aboveground; duct tape is magic.

Thanking every deity she could think of for thinking to lock the door – she'd heard the knob rattle a few times – Sarah Williams toweled herself dry in record time to throw the door open dramatically and stand there dumbstruck, mouth agape. She'd expected some minor chaos, perhaps one of her more fragile collectibles on the floor in fragments, her stuffies strewn about with her bed sheets. This… this was beyond mischief.

"My room…"

It looked like a tornado hit, full of dirty bombs. How in the bloody hells would she explain this when her parents got home?! The perpetrators were no where to be seen, which was fortunate or there'd be some very dead goblins just then.

Her pale face quickly flushed an ugly shade of red as her fists clenched and shook at her sides, her rage overtaking her common sense, she took a deep breath and _screamed_ the Goblin King's name.

"JARETH! GET YOUR SPARKLY ASS UP HERE THIS MINUTE!"

* * *

Jareth, King of the Goblins, Master of the Labyrinth, fae creature and excellent dresser, was locked in his private chambers with goblin proof spells on the doors and windows. He was locked in there to take a shower. In peace.

So imagine his surprise when he felt a summons from the Aboveground. He tried to ignore it, but it pulled harder, and the whisper of his name – not just his title, but his _name_ – became a banshee shriek in his ear.

"_JARETH! GET YOUR SPARKLY ASS UP HERE THIS MINUTE!"_

Sparkly ass? Only one girl had the audacity to address him in such a way, and with a snarl of outrage (and a generous helping of glitter) a glistening wet, soapy, perfectly naked-as-the-day-he-was-born Goblin King transported himself from his personal bath to one Sarah William's bedroom.

* * *

Sarah was utterly gobsmacked when the Goblin King appeared moments later. Wet. Soapy. Oh my… Gaping like a fish, aggressive posture crumpling as her jade eyes swept helplessly over the expanse of naked flesh, following a soap bubble down his chest, across his abdomen and towards…

Her cheeks flamed bright as cherries and her mouth went dry.

"My face is up here, Sarah," Jareth's dry tone of amusement reached her ears and she shivered, "look up here."

She wanted to, she really, truly did, but…_Oh my, so that is why he wore such tight pants._

A cool, slightly damp, hand slid under her chin and lifted her face until her (mildly glassy) eyes met his mismatched pair. She swallowed dryly, and her small pink tongue darted out nervously to wet her lips as she caught the predatory glint in his gaze. His lips quirked and her blush darkened becomingly.

"Sarah."

She shivered.

"You called?" His perfectly arched brows rose higher and it took a moment for her thoughts to catch up with her. Her mouth opened soundlessly as she tried to talk and failed.

"Sarah?" His voice dropped an octave and she nearly felt her knees buckle before she forced herself back a step and tried to calm her racing heart. "Goblins."

"Goblins?" He purred, and she could swear he was doing it on purpose just to see her flounder!

"Room." She rasped, hands flying to cover her flaming cheeks and cover her eyes.

"Ah, yes, I had noticed it is quite the mess. This is my problem why, Precious?"

_Ogod, when he called her that…_

She dropped weakly to the mattress and peeked through her fingers at the hunk of naked man flesh in her room. _He could put Adonis to shame, damnit._

He obviously didn't care that he was still wet from a clearly interrupted shower, the sunlight from her open curtains glistening over his muscles enticingly. As if sensing her wandering eyes, he leaned back against the wall, arms crossed over his chest, brows arched into his ash blonde locks. "Sarah…"

_I have been generous up until now, but I can be cruel._

"Their fault, your subjects, you should fix it." She managed to garble out, words muffled behind her hands and her still stunted ability to think.

"And what will you give me in return for this generous favor, Precious?"

Her hands fell to her lap as she gaped at him and her cruel green eyes narrowed in anger, "You don't deserve anything!"

"Then I wish you luck on cleaning this mess up yours-"

"Wait!" Sarah yelped, jumping to her feet, hand outstretched to capture the Goblin King's arm before he could disappear.

"Yes?"

"Can't… can't you just fix it with your magic?" She muttered, still off balance by his casual nudity.

"No."

"Well why not?!" Her own damp hair slid into her face and she brushed it angrily back, hands shaking.

"You're well versed enough in the lore to know the answer, Precious."

She glared sullenly at the smirking male, and fought to keep her eyes from drifting downwards. "What do you want?"

"In exchange for putting to rights what my subjects have broken? A task of such magnitude deserves an equal gift."

"And that would be..?" Her jaw started to hurt from how hard she was clenching her teeth.

"A kiss, Precious."

"You're insane!"

"I'm a fae, Sarah." He corrected, tone turning frosty at her continued argument. "And we have rules. Nothing comes without a price."

"At least put some clothes on!" Sarah wailed, turning her face away from the naked glory of the god like creature before her.

She could hear the smirk in his voice. "No, I don't think I will, I'm quite comfortable like this, Precious."

She could hear the tell tale approach of her father's treasured junk heap of a car, Karen was endlessly complaining about the noise it made, and she felt desperation and hysteria rising in her chest. "Alright, alright! A kiss! Just, please, fix it before they get back."

Jareth cooed smugly, "So mote it be."

She glanced at her room, then back at the infuriating man, whose brows rose at her expectantly, and she hissed. "At least bend down a little!"

He obliged with a far too satisfied smirk on his perfect face. She was temped to punch him rather than kiss him, but there was no way she could explain this mess away if he vanished. So instead, cheeks burning so hot she was sure he could feel it, she leant in and, on a whim, moved to peck him on the cheek.

He gave an offended sound of surprise and wrapped his arm around her shoulder to pull her flush to his still damp form – she squawked in protest – while his free hand moved to hold her chin up while he slanted his lips over hers in a possessive, ravenous kiss.

She stood there, stiff as a board as his spicy scent filled her to overflowing and her stunned brain quite unhelpfully pointed out how nice his chest felt against hers. He must have gotten impatient with her lack of response, because he nipped her lower lip with his sharp teeth and she gasped.

She was kissing Jareth. And he was naked! Her thoughts were firmly on pause, and she shuddered, moaning helplessly as his tongue delved into her open mouth. By the gods, he was devouring her!

She felt as though she were about to faint.

"Remind me to tell the goblins their timing couldn't be more perfect," Jareth purred against her kiss swollen lips, "Precious."

In the split second between the front door opening downstairs and Sarah's brain catching up with itself, the Goblin King was gone and her room was good as new.

She gaped at the wall for a few seconds before throwing herself onto the bed and screaming into the pillow in frustration.

"This isn't the last you'll hear of this, Goblin King." Sarah swore under her breath, shivering in mixed delight and anger as her mind replayed the kiss over in her head. God, what a way to pay…


End file.
